Sunday, January 15, 2012

One Year Gone

Today was the one year anniversary of Googie's death. I haven't done most of what I wanted to do with this blog. I still have to search my external looking for more pictures. Maybe even recover the data from my really old hard drive. But I spent a good part of today looking at pictures of him and remembering him and missing him. You think with all the other cats in my life this past year (six of my own and twenty two fosters) one cat's absence wouldn't cause a hole, but he really has. No one else is as chatty. No one chirrups at the birds in the morning. No one can get the better of Bonnie in a play fight. Losing him so unexpectedly, a month after he had passed a physical, seemed like a bad dream. It couldn't happen-not to our one cat that was neither special needs nor senior. Such is the unfairness of disease and sneakiness of FIP. I just hope Googie knew how much he as loved by his human, feline and canine family members.

I don't believe in heaven- my first doubts came at age 8 when I was told our cat Lucy would not go to heaven and I would never see her again. This seemed incredibly wrong to me and started my disenchantment with religion, At my sappier moments I do like to think that some day I will see my cats in an afterlife. It might be a comforting fairytale but you know what? Today that's okay-I'll take what comfort I can.

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