One Year Gone

Today was the one year anniversary of Googie's death. I haven't done most of what I wanted to do with this blog. I still have to search my external looking for more pictures. Maybe even recover the data from my really old hard drive. But I spent a good part of today looking at pictures of him and remembering him and missing him. You think with all the other cats in my life this past year (six of my own and twenty two fosters) one cat's absence wouldn't cause a hole, but he really has. No one else is as chatty. No one chirrups at the birds in the morning. No one can get the better of Bonnie in a play fight. Losing him so unexpectedly, a month after he had passed a physical, seemed like a bad dream. It couldn't happen-not to our one cat that was neither special needs nor senior. Such is the unfairness of disease and sneakiness of FIP. I just hope Googie knew how much he as loved by his human, feline and canine family members.

I don't believe in heaven- my first doubts came at age 8 when I was told our cat Lucy would not go to heaven and I would never see her again. This seemed incredibly wrong to me and started my disenchantment with religion, At my sappier moments I do like to think that some day I will see my cats in an afterlife. It might be a comforting fairytale but you know what? Today that's okay-I'll take what comfort I can.

Six Months Gone

Well it's yesterday now but the 15th marked six months since Googie died. I have been slacking with this blog and need to recommit before I lose more memories.

Sadly this week we lost another kitty, Bow, one of our fosters. He was FIV + and had chronic health problems. I don't think we'll know exactly why he died - his body just couldn't fight anymore.

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The Googie Song

When I first brought Googie home I had a roommate who later became more. He loved Googie; in fact he named him. His originally name was Apollyon, named for a demon from one of the Left Behind books. Apollyon stung people and caused them to suffer pain that couldn't be escaped. I shortened it to Poli. He had this horrific name because he bit your toes hard when he wanted breakfast and would climb your leg like a tree, digging his claws in. Jonny called him Googie as an affectionate nickname and it stuck. My ex is a lot of things, but he loved that cat. And Googie totally manipulated him. He could not stand to have Googie cry and Googie did manage to sound pretty distressed. He gave in every time, contributing to Googie's weight issues.

We even had a song: Mr. Googs, Mr. Googs, he's the one and only Mr. Googs. He's your friend to the end, he's the one and only Mr. Googs. Silly, I know.

Googie and Toys

Googie loved to play. He loved the laser toy, the kitty fishing pole and the crinkle tunnel. It was fun to watch him pounce all over his toys and play with the other cats. Oliver in particular liked to play with him. Here he is in his tunnel.

Baby Googie

This is one of the few pictures i have of Googie as a kitten. He was so tiny! When I first got him he couldn't even get out of the cardboard box I brought him home in. I wanted a kitten as a friend for Chuckles, who was sad because after years of me being around all the time, was now left alone a good part of the day. I was heading to my day program and took a detour past Union square Petco. Sitting in front was a girl with a box.I'm not sure how, but I knew that box had a kitten in it. So I went over to talk to her. Sure enough, it was a tiny kitten. She had found him in a dumpster in Brooklyn. She heard him crying. He was too little to have gotten in himself so he must have been thrown out. He looked like a mini Chuckles. I told her I'd been looking for a kitten and called my vet to make an appointment to have him tested and vaccinated. She had been planning on giving him to Kitty Kind, but petco wasn't even open yet and she had just started a new job and couldn't be late. So she gave him over to my care. At the time I was spending the weekends up in Larchmont with my ex-husband. I had been bringing Chuckles with me so I brought Googie too. He had two kittens, Strummer and Jones. They were about eight months old-already way bigger than Googie. That is Strummer in the picture.

Hey, You, Wake Up

This morning I woke up surrounded by cats and it made me really miss Googie. He was very vocal and active in the morning. He would tap me on the face and when I opened my eyes he'd meow at me in a plaintive voice that made me think he was saying "Hungry, soooo hungry." Other mornings he would sit on top of the fridge and knock off the magnets to wake me up. And then there were the mornings that I would wake up to him stepping on me on his way to watch the birds outside on the fire escape. He would make that funny trilling sound cats make and I would say "Get em birdies Googie" which never got me more than a scornful look.

Googie the intellectual

Googie often showed interest in the computer. Here he is on my laptop.

Really, he liked to come and stand on my computer while I was using it so I would pay attention to him. He was so full of personality-he is really missed. We put up a picture of him on top of the refrigerator on the front of the microwave (which itself is on top of the refrigerator) so Googie can in some way still be on his favorite perch watching us.